I had three different jobs over the years. Two of the three managers have used the phrase “You have really come out my shell” . . . usually following earlier meetings where they told me “to come out of my shell” or “speak more.” All I ever did was respond with “Ok”, but inside I was fuming. I think I should get a medal for not swearing at them until they understood how hated of a phrase that is for someone who is an introvert and an HSP. I have many hated phrases . . . but none have proven to be so equally meaningless and infuriating. This phrase can come in other forms like, ” Why are you are so quiet”, “You should talk more”etc.
In my professional life I have had the misfortune of always working with some variation of micro-managing control freak that dominates all conversations, must always be right and therefore does not really listen to others. With this kind of person I typically cannot get a word in edgewise, no matter how hard I try. I often just give up instead of wasting my precious social energy on these people. I have been places where that control freak is my immediate co-worker and when it has also been the manager (double slap to the face when she tells me to come out of my shell). The result is that I only get to speak when that extroverted, control freak, energy sucking vampire is not present.
Once I had a year of being the “go-to person” and not having to mentally prep for a battle to death if I wanted to give my opinion on something. I had a year to shine unobstructed. I got a glowing performance review marred only by that evil phrase “you really came our of your shell.” I hate this phrase because it implies there was something wrong with introverts and therefore something wrong with me. It is also a big joke because when they said “i really came of my shell” I personally did absolutely nothing differently. I didn’t come out my shell. I was never in a shell. I have never been in a shell. I am not and have never been a turtle. Although, I would rather be a turtle than hear this phrase ever again.
This would be preferable: