Are kegels still a thing? Are good little personal trainers and fitness instructors still suppose to discuss “holding your pee” and “picking up the family jewels” with their clients? Are there any out there have actually ever done it? I wonder these things. I guess people could still be doing kegels. I mean I could be doing them right now while writing this and no one would know as long as I keep a straight face.
I remember when I first heard about them. I thought it was a joke. Really. I was sitting in a big conference room at my very first fitness conference. I had just completed my certification after just turning old enough to be able to sign the conference liability waiver form all by my lonesome. I was sitting there next to my boss, who sitting next to his boss, while this lady at the front of the room started talking about this funny german sounding thing called kegels. It took me awhile to figure out what the hell the lady was talking about. When I figured it out I thought for sure she had to be joking. I mean this sounded way too ridiculous to actually be an exercise that people did at the gym with trainers no less. So I waited. I waited and waited for the punch line. It never came. Although, there was one good joke from the presenter about looks of hard concentration on all our faces while we all tried to follow her kegel directions in mass.
Yeah, so it wasn’t a joke. I got to spend an hour sitting on the carpet next to two of my bosses trying to “hold my pee” while they “picked up their family jewels”. When the workshop was done I smiled and nodded and thanked the presenter just like everyone else. I agreed with everyone about how great this was, about how everyone needed to do this more, just like stretching. We all totally needed this for our core and blah blah blah. But I got the impression everyone was faking it (lol . . . faking it). I mean I couldn’t possibly be the only one thinking: “Crap I can’t believe I just paid money for that. I could have just stayed home and masturbated – for free.”
After this workshop covering what everyone (at the time) said was very important and needed to be addressed with our clients/participants went back to being that thing no one talked about. The few times I have heard the word kegel since has always been in the company of words like “doctor told me to” or something similar. Or at least that is how it went down in my gym, becuase neither boss ever brought up kegels ever again. Well, not in my presence at least.